Beautiful World

Azhagar Samy Kuthirai

2012-01-05T22:38:00.004+05:30

It is 2012 already. I wanted to write thispost for quite sometime now. But I never got around doing it. You probablywould have watched this movie. I am still not sure if I should be writing aboutthis movie. But Azhagar Samy Kuthirai is a kind of movie that we should writeabout. Such movies deserve a lot of appreciation and encouragement. When I startedwatching this movie I thought “Here we go again. Another Tamil movie aboutrural Tamil Nadu with a average looking hero (more of an unkempt looking hero)and some silly sentiment.” But as the movie progressed I began enjoying themovie.

In a nutshell, the movie is about an idolof a kuthirai (horse) which is seen as the protector of the village. This idolgoes missing and then miraculously is replaced by a live horse. The live oneactually belongs to the hero, Azhagar Samy, who wants to take it home. Theentire village is against him because they believe it is their God. The herohas very little time to take it home because his marriage depends upon hissuccessful career and his career depends upon the horse.

Now if you are hoping for a few thrillingstunts by the horse, I am sorry there is none of it. It is a story of simplefolk who lead monotonous lives. The director sketches the lives of rural peopleand their everyday struggles. But he does not want you to pity them. He touchesupon the social evils of the country. But he treats you like an intelligentviewer who can note the irony in the situation. He does not din about any ofthese evils with loud dialogues and so on. For instance, the hero is portrayedas one who does not score very high in the looks department and that is anunderstatement actually. He owns one horse. He is hired by people to transportthings across hills and valleys using his horse. The hero is presumablyilliterate. The heroine fits into the south Indian definition of good looks.You know the fair, soft spoken, and so on type. She also presumably completedprimary or high school because she dresses up decently well. Yet her dadpromises pieces of jewels and a small piece of land as dowry. Nobody in themovie reacts to the situation. But as a viewer you cant miss the irony and youacknowledge that such things do happen in every part of our country. Similarly,you will notice child labour, child labour in sweatshops, death of farmers,struggling artisans and so on. They make you sad but you watch helplessly justlike we watch them in our daily lives and do nothing about it.

There are hilarious scenes with innocentyet street smart kids, bogus gurus, blind beliefs, and so on. I loved the scenewhere a few elders of the village go to the police station to report the theftof the horse. All kinds of conspiracy theories come up during theinvestigation. The local youth to the visiting foreigners are all blamed. You seethe trust and the cynicism of the villagers simultaneously. I also loved thelast scene where the president curses the village that it will not receive anyrains and immediately it starts pouring.

Every time, I watch Iranian movies withsimple yet gripping stories, I wonder if we will ever get to watch such movieson Indian cinema. This movie raised my hopes. Watch it if you haven’t alreadywatched it and if you can understand Tamil. You will like it.

Woo Your Husband

2011-12-15T07:12:00.001+05:30

Watch this ad about wooing your husband.

Now, consider this scene I witnessed in afurnishings store. A woman in her fifties is shopping along with her son anddaughter-in-law who are in their twenties. The DIL picked up a set of napkinsand the MIL asked her if she really needed them. I was expecting the DIL topolitely say that she liked it or that it matched the curtains etc. but shechose to meekly look at her husband and looked back at the napkins. She thenunwillingly she put them back and then demurely looked at her husband. The husbandthen said to his mother “adhi emi chesukunte neeku emiti? Napkins theesuko”.Literally translated to “how does it matter to you what she is going to do withthem. You can buy the napkins”. The husband paid for the stuff they bought andasked the women to fetch the stuff to the entrance while he would drive downfrom the parking. While the cashier was packing the purchases the DIL insistedthat she needed a bigger carry bag. The MIL said that the bag was enough fortheir purchases. The daughter-in-law very assertively said that she wanted abigger one.

I surprised that this same woman who was sohelpless around her husband was very firm with her MIL and the cashier. Iwondered if the husband knew that his wife was assertive.

Have you seen newly married couples inmalls where the husband chooses dresses that are “modern” according to him? Thewife tries them on clearly uncomfortable in the new set of clothes. A woman canlook very trendy and smart in a nice pair of salwar-kameez or sari. The womanneed not loose her personality to look “modern” in her husband’s eyes. Afterall one’s dressing style is a very important part of one’s personality. A womanshould be allowed to explore and wear something that suits her personality andsense of style. But for many women their sense of dressing is dictated by theirhusbands. The woman’s choices are usually seen as too conservative/boring ortoo modern/slutty.

I don’t want to be too judgmental. I know marriagesare not easy and all husbands/inlaws are not easy. My objection is to these compromisesbeing seen as a smart choice. I have seen many movies specially made in theseventies or eighties, specially the ones where there is a lot chaos in thefamily and then a DIL enters to change everything, in which such messages wheredelivered. When a woman gives up her personality it is called adjustment andwhen she masks her personality she is called smart. I remember one Tamil serialin particular called Metti Oli in which the elder sister in the family is seenas a very samardhyam (capable) woman. She adjusts, changes, suffers,manipulates, and so on all for a worthless husband who never appreciates herand then when they are finally old acknowledges her, gives her control of thehousehold and finances blah blah. Fruits of handwork are sweet kind of message.Yeah yeah I hated it but I still watched it because I didn’t have anythingbetter to do :p.

I wonder if these are the different methodsa woman must employ to have a successful marriage. If she really does, will shehave an authentic relationship with her husband? Do we need to sugarcoat everyword, mask our emotions, act dumb, act innocent and helpless and expect the MANto do everything that poor me cannot do, manipulate, to have a picture perfectmarriage/relationship? Why is the media conveying such messages?

Aadab Hyderabad

2011-12-14T12:05:00.000+05:30

Aadab Hyderabad

You must visit this blog if you are a true blue Hyderabadi like me, lived here, visited it, heard about it, love photography or history, or whatever category you belong.

Random Thoughts

2011-11-27T22:50:00.001+05:30

I am recovering from the love showered bythe weather. This time the weather was a little too generous with me and mywheezing coughs scared my teammates. Every time I fall sick I realize my blogposts are delirious too. So here goes:

I am surprised that “Why this Kolaveri di” is appreciated by non-tamil speaking people. I was surprised that Dhanush mumbling in Tanglish has become so popular. After listening to it a few times I realized that it is a little silly and tanglish makes it universally appealing as opposed to Tamil. I mean everyone can understand it unlike Tamil. Must say it is very articulate. ;) :D
Yeah yeah I got to watch a few low budget sensible Tamil movies.
I guess one falls sick because one’s body wants a break. The question is-was I really that tired?
I realized that gender stereotyping starts with nursery rhymes. I was watching rhymes with my son and the video for “Around the Mulberry bush” has a girl washing clothes and a boy ironing clothes. Sometime back when I went to a kid’s store I saw rhymes books for boys were different from the ones for girls. I thought it was a one-off bad marketing idea. But there seems to be a pattern here.

Some very intellectual thoughts for you tochew on, is’nt it? :D heheh

Small things that make a world of difference

2011-11-08T20:26:00.001+05:30

It is my birthday today and it got me thinking about my past birthdays. I am in a very mushy mood today so I started thinking about some very special moments too. There have been so many moments in my life where I was floored by a small gesture. These have kept me going for a very long time.
Bruno traveled all day long to come to Hyderabad so that he could celebrate my birthday. This is not a small gesture though. But, how many brothers do that for their sisters? My parents try to make my birthdays pleasant and memorable. I get my favourite food, cake, cards, dresses and so on. Most of all they are very patient with me when I delay getting ready for office which usually annoys them.
On my 30th birthday Shilpa wrote this blog post for me. I was so honoured. I miss that celebration in Minerva.
My time in Cordys was super good because of friends like Videhi, Sangeetha, and Suneetha. I was so thrilled with that surprise birthday party. Thanks a lot girls.
Now in CA, my Gang of Girls makes everyday fun. Breaks, birthdays, outings, etc are all fun.
My college birthdays were unforgettable. I would be, as always, late to class. I would then try to rush into the class as though a few seconds were going to help me getting into the class on time. As soon as my friends could hear me coming in through the corridor they would start singing “Happy B’day..”.
Then there is this friend who calls me on every birthday since I started working in Dell and sings the complete birthday song with a lot of enthusiasm.
Then there are some very special moments that I will cherish forever. Like my brother bought me a IPod and setup a wireless network at home after Benno was born. This year when my Dad got to know about Daughter’s day, he bought me a bouquet. That was such a sweet gesture.
On the launch of Akansha, Shilpa gave me a bouquet and a card just to wish me luck. Akansha was appreciated by everybody in Dell but all those praises cannot equal what Shilpa did for me. One moment treasured for the rest of my life.
In another instance, Sneha and I were meeting after a long weekend. As soon as she saw me she starting squealing that she really missed me. Another treasured moment.
Once when Videhi was shopping for books she bought me a German dictionary because I was going German classes then.
Treasured moments presented by some of the most treasured people in my life.
There are so many such instances but this page is not going to be enough. So I end here.

Being a Parent

2011-10-10T22:33:00.001+05:30

Watch this TED talk-

The couple is right. But in my case it waslove at first sight. Yes, I definitely love my son now more than then. But maybe I wasvery pleasantly surprised when I first saw my son. Because of what the doctors toldme, no scared me during my pregnancy, I was expecting this skinny baby. But when Isaw my son I was overjoyed. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and thanked Godthat my son was healthy. Every day since his birth has been a learningexperience.

I read many books on post delivery. Ithought I understood the various feeding positions. But when it was time tofeed I realized I was ill prepared. Then I realized wrong positions add to gasin the baby.

Nobody tells you, atleast nobody told methat you would be feeding your baby almost all day and night. I read we have tofeed a new born every two hours. But that they left out a small detail thatthis feeding pattern is followed only when the baby sleeps throughout those twohours. If the baby is awake, you would be feeding more frequently. So, you end up feeling that you are only feeding your baby and doing nothing else.

The first three months are the toughestwith lack of sleep, exhaustion, harmones and so on and then you just get usedto it. I heard about post partum depression mainly in the western media. I wonderedwhy we didn’t have any in India. Atleast if we had, it did not seem very common, or not commonly reported. I found the answer post mydelivery. It is because of our support system. Your family does not let you feelisolated. You would feel isolated because you just cannot run out of the door and do something spontaneous everytime you feel like it. You need to plan and pack even if you have to go to the Church or a shop close to your home.

You have to hurry up your mealtime. No more long relaxed meals with your family. You have to eat, pee etc before your baby wakes up. Your entire schedule is managed by your baby’s sleep times. My parents and my brother were very supportiveat this time. They would give me breaks when I needed them. My brother bought me an IPod. He said I could listento books, chat, browse all while taking care of the baby. His only conditionwas that I send pictures of the baby frequently. He set up a wireless networkat home so that I could use the IPod anywhere in the house. This was the mostthoughtful gift I ever received and I could access the world with it. My parentswould keep talking to me and ensured that I was in good spirits.

When you become a parent you worry a lot. You worryabout everything possible. I actually had tally marks for the number of times hewent potty, had wet diapers, and the number of feeds to ensure that everythingwas ok with him. I would wake up in the middle of the night to check if his blanketwas not covering his face. I panicked and I still do about him meeting hismilestones on time.

Your baby will give you a million reasonsto grin like a fool. His smiles, his laughs, and all his antics are pure joy.

Just like nobody knows the secret of asuccessful marriage irrespective of the number years one has been married, yourealize that nobody knows the secret of being a good parent. One keeps trying somany things equipped with the little experience and knowledge one has and onlya few of these things actually work. What works in one family may notnecessarily work in another. So, parenthood is more of a scary, challenging,exciting, and a beautiful journey. Good luck if you have already embarked on that journey or planning to.

Whats Wrong with Being a Feminist

2011-09-28T21:45:00.000+05:30

Most of my family and friends called/chatted to check with me to know if everything was ok in my life. The reason being the past few posts have been about feminism. Even though most of the people I know are open-minded and do not see anything wrong with being a feminist, I wondered why being a feminist was not easily accepted.
Most people hold a very negative opinion of feminists. A woman who understands her worth and has the courage to stand up for herself is a feminist. A man who treats every woman like he would want his daughter to be treated is a feminist too. In short it is about being human. I strongly believe that any community or race that mistreats a section of its population is not going to thrive for a long time. So if we want to survive for a long time we better get our act together.
If one was standing up against corruption, racism, and so on no one would be surprised. So, why this stigma against feminists? I do not believe in any conspiracy theory that men have something to do with this. I wonder if the portrayal of feminists in Indian movies has something to do with it. Do you remember movies where women who fight for equality were ones wearing sleeveless blouses, going to clubs, who don’t breastfeed their babies, and so on. All of it was their version of what a woman should not be and what a feminist is. But where did the movie makers get these ideas from? I leave it to you tell me.
But whatever the reason, I am willing to accept being one. Yes people! It is official-I am a feminist. Deal with it.

Scenes from a Marriage

2011-09-19T22:47:00.003+05:30

Scene 1-Before the marriage

Groom-“Tell me what we should buy after marriage?”

Bride-Thrilled that he was thinking abouttheir future together she said “Not sure but a washing machine will be of greathelp.”

Groom later tells his sister-“We are buyinga washing machine after marriage”.

Sister then calls her mother-“Anna plans tobuy a washing machine for his future wife.”

Mother of the bride gets a call from themother of the groom-“…so you will be giving your daughter all kitchen items,bed etc and a washing machine, of course.”

Scene 2-After marriage

The bride was wearing her bridal sari,flowers in her hair, and completely decked up with jewelry. She was sittingalone beside her husband with her heart full excitement ready to start a newlife. He held her hand. She was wondering if he would kiss it. He slowly begancounting the gold bangles on her hands. He paused at one particular bangle saying“this looks like it was made during the time of Akbar”. She said that it was afamily heirloom. He chuckled and then moved onto the chains she was wearing. Hewas weighing each chain with his hands and said “hmm.. looks heavier than itactually is”.

Scene 3-Visiting relatives

The groom’s aunt invited the newly weds toher house for dinner. She also invited a few of his cousins. After all thepleasantries, the groom asked his wife if she wanted to go to the terrace withhim for fresh air. When they were in the terrace they found that the stars werealready out. She pointed out the ‘saptarishi’ in the sky to him. He blinked atit blankly and said “hmm..”. She was talking about a lot of stuff. She was slowlybeginning to realize that the foundation of her marriage was not based on lovealone. She was trying to overlook all that. She believed that things would getbetter between them. She was trying hard to impress him. Lord knew she wasgiving her best. He suddenly said “My father wanted to give my sister 8 lakhsin cash, 150 powns (tamil unit of measurement of gold, that is 8 gms=1 pown) ofgold, a car, and a house. But she eloped. What are your parents planning togive me?” She asked if it won’t matter that she is educated and working, thatis, earning. He laughed out loudly saying that every girl these days iseducated and that she is not special in any way.

Scene 4-Setting up a new home

They moved into a new house. She was tryingto settle into the new environment, starting a new routine, getting her headaround the fact that she has to plan and prepare every meal. She was happy todecorate her new home-her home, her kitchen. She was happy and scared all atthe same time. Her husband then handed her over the phone saying his mom wantedto talk to her. She was hoping that her mother-in-law was calling her to blessthem for starting this new journey. Her MIL wanted to know what was forbreakfast. She said that they bought dosa looking at the stove that was yet tobe setup. Her MIL said “umm.. don’t waste money like that. Be smart. Get allthe household items you want from your parents. Ask them everything you need. Don’tforget anything. We will come soon to check what they have given you.”

Woman, thou shall not commit adultery! Man, go ahead..

2011-09-13T22:18:00.002+05:30

This news item annoyed me today. Here is a man who cheated his wife, physically abused her, and yet the Kannada film industry is willing to support him?

Is it case of gender bias by the film industry? May be or May be not. When I read the news article and its comments, I realized that the husband is popular in Karnataka. The producers have invested a lot on his movies and are willing to protect him. So they have convinced his wife to withdraw the domestic violence case that she filed against him. But why ban Ms. Thukral?
Are they suggesting that she, the other woman, seduced an innocent man into having an affair?
Shouldn’t the association of producers be arrested for protecting a wife beater?
I wonder what the other female actors in the industry have to say about the ban. Are they scared of being labeled too? Are they scared of any such bans? Or are they being “practical” and minding their business?
So what is next? Women will be stoned to death for adultery?

Crescentia Kalpana David

2011-09-08T22:51:00.001+05:30

I am using one of IHM’s blogscars topics "Women’s name change" as a writing prompt. I may be going on a tangent on this topic. So I am not submitting this post for the contest.

The name is Crescentia Kalpana David. Crescentia pronounced as Cres-sen-shi-ya. Crescentia is a Catholic name that is an alternative name of Mary. Like most Indian Catholics my parents wanted an Indian name too and hence Kalpana.

Throughout my academic life I was D. Crescentia Kalpana. Then I joined an MNC and I was asked my last name. So D moved to the end of the name and expanded to David, of course my Dad’s name. I loved the sound of it. There was something about it that sounded good. All the vowel and consonant sounds jived together to make it a happy name.

They say that long names are sexy. Therefore, a very long name should make it super sexy?

Now I am called by all forms of my name-Kalpana, Kalp, Kalpi, Crescentia, Cres, DC, sometimes David too.

I have always been a Daddy’s girl. When I used my father’s initial or his name, I never thought much about it. Yes it is unfair on my mother because I do not use her name. My name is now very much part of my identity.

By the time I got married I was so used to my name that I did not want to change it. A few years back I thought that one day I would be so crazily in love that I would love everything about him. I would be so mad about him that I would add his name to my name. Now, I wonder what I was thinking. Obviously my head was filled with cotton candy.

Dear Patidev, I am willing to do anything for you. Will you ask me of measly little thing such as changing my name? You love me just the way I am and would not want me to change anything about me, not even my name, don’t you? You definitely will not sulk if Benno chooses to use Anton Benno Crescent.

Me, the Bread Winner

2011-09-07T23:40:00.001+05:30

This post is for IHM’s blog.

It was one of those days back in college when we were tired of classes and wanted a free period. So the lecturer suggested we could have a discussion on “Working Moms” instead of a complete free period. Many girls (I studied in an all girls’ college) said that women worked to share the financial burden of the family, create an identity for oneself, and so on.

I believe that every person can mould one’s life according to his or her own choice. So I believe a woman can choose to work or stay at home. Remember the movie Mona Lisa Smile?

As a working woman I do see many advantages of being one. Can’t say much about Stay at Home Moms because I am a working mom and the daughter of a working mom. But as a mom of a one year old I do understand separation anxiety. I do hope it will change soon.

From a pessimistic point of view, anything can happen to the marriage or your loved ones. Many, very rich women are left with nothing when they are divorced or widowed.

But as an optimist I do not want to think too far on those lines. At one time in my life I thought by working towards a career I was creating an identity for myself. After almost eight years of work experience I want to believe that there is more to me than just my career. My profession is just one dimension of me.

So if I was financially secure and if it is not about my identity, why would I want to continue working?

I want to use my God given faculties and talents to the fullest. Why not create a career out of it? Money does give one a sense of security. It may be a fake sense of security but it works to an extent.

Until I started working, the kind of people I interacted with was very uniform. We all came from the same economic and social strata. My work made me realize that it takes all kinds to make the world. I would not have got this exposure if I were transplanted from my parents’ home to my in-laws’ by means of marriage assuming I was not working and was married into a similar protective family as mine. With limited interaction with people I would not have been as tolerant as I am of many things. I really would not have known “the world”.

Without work buddies my friends circle would have been very dependent on my hubby’s friends and their spouses. Boring. Ahh ..how can I bitch about hubby with them ;). Just kidding, may be not :D

May be there are other ways to showcase your stuff, be confident, and get better exposure to people. But this is the best way I know.

Image courtesy-http://www.mommyandmyra.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ist2_7810015-computer-savvy.jpg

Schools or Sweatshops?

2011-08-24T22:15:00.000+05:30

The profession of a school teacher was once considered the best profession for women. This was because of the timings, the ample number of holidays, low stress, and so on. All these reasons made it the most sought after profession at one time. With the commercialization of education, this profession no longer interests younger generations.

The working conditions are not good either. Most schools do not allow teachers to sit in the classrooms. There are no more teacher’s desks or chairs. During bundhs, teachers are expected to be in school throughout the day. I wish I could get the heads of the principals examined for damage. What are the teachers supposed to do in an empty school? Teachers are monitored on CCTVs that are installed in classrooms. Most schools do not give teachers enough breaks or free periods even though this profession is physically and mentally exhausting. They do not get trained on latest teaching methods. Teachers need to squeeze in time for practical classes or correlating bookish information to the real world. They have to work on all these and the pay is bad. I know that teachers in Tamil Nadu’s aided schools and government schools are paid well. But teachers in government schools in Andhra Pradesh are not paid on par to their counterparts in Tamil Nadu. I do not know about teachers’ pay in other states. But teachers in private schools everywhere are paid badly. Not surprisingly this is the least preferred profession. If there is no young blood in this profession, I am not sure kids are going to be inspired to attend schools. As a mother this downward spiral in education bothers me.

As a teacher’s daughter and granddaughter I could be partial to teachers. But I have also seen the dedication and passion my father has for his profession. He has retired and works part time. But even now he prepares for his classes, browses books on Mathematics and teaching methods. He would quote short stories to keep the class interesting. I have seen teachers who are very dedicated. I strongly believe that teachers deserve good pay scales, reduced span of students, and enough breaks.

I once read an article on Army and the reason why it was not attracting many youngsters to join it. An army officer commented that apart from many other reasons the pay was bad. He said that if you pay peanuts, you will only get monkeys.

In the Name of Culture

2011-07-19T22:55:00.000+05:30

I may not appreciate Indian culture all the time. But there are two instances when I thought our culture was favourable to Indian women. The first instance is the first festival that is celebrated in a girl’s maternal home after her marriage. I thought that must have been such a relief to women, specially when there are people who expect her to make murukkulu or arishalu (adirasam). I then realised it can be a burden on the girl’s parents because they are expected to pay for the couple’s new clothes. Then there is an endless list of complaints about the quality of clothes, the food, and so on.

The second instance is when a woman is pregnant and gets to spend the last trimester in her maternal home. That must be bliss for a lot of women. I know women who were not free to eat what they wanted during pregnancy in their marital home. They were embarrassed of their appetite and felt uncomfortable asking for what they craved. This custom of going to one’s maternal home must be such a pleasure for these women. There is a downside to this custom too. Even though many people of our parents’ generation do not have any medical insurance coverage they are expected to foot the hospital bills for the baby’s delivery. I know of instances where the in-laws complained that the parents used the girl’s medical insurance instead of paying from their pocket. There are a few men who later claim the bills paid by the girl’s parents. I am sure like the case of dowry parents of the girl may be willing to pay and probably see it as a matter of pride too. But, ideally should’nt the men offer to use their medical insurance? It is their baby too and hence their responsility. But this is conveniently forgotten and it is given many names like tradition and culture.

In many marriages the in-laws fight for silly things and often insult the bride’s family. All this is done saying that certain “muraigal” (customs) have to be followed and that the bride’s family is cheating them out of it.

Moral police and such selfish people are the only two kinds who are oh so worried about “Indian Culture”. Together they form the guardians of Indian culture. The second group says that such gross violations of traditions would destroy Indian culture. “Indian culture that is centuries old would not survive if such traditions are not followed. The greatness of our country is our culture”. I wonder if these people ever realise the meaning of each of these traditions and why they came into being in the first place. They just want to gain as much as they can and loot people around them in the name of culture.

We have nadaswaram (in south), ullat dwani (in Bengal), and other loud music during weddings because any negative comments or sneezing (which is considered inauspicious) should not reach anybody’s ears. Rituals like mehendi, haldi, sangeet, baraat, and so on are performed to keep up the festive mood. But then each of these rituals is hijacked and used as a status symbol by the bride and groom’s families. After witnessing all this non-sense I would prefer eloping or a register marriage. What was that? Too late Kalpana? Wink Wink.

Image courtesy-http://www.ecare4all.com/fashion/bridal_dresses.html

Past Two Weeks...

2011-07-07T20:00:00.001+05:30

Here are some things that got my attention in the past two weeks:

Books Should be Free: A friend sent me this link sometime back. It has epubs, iPod, and MP3 versions. I think I will never get over the page turning effect of the epubs version. In this site you will find books that were published before 1930 and hence no guilt over piracy. I am currently listening to my fourth book from the site. It is “Rilla of Ingleside”. Lucy Montgomery is my third favourite writer after Nathaniel Hawthrone and P. G. Wodehouse. I love the way she transports us to Prince Edward Islands. It is nice to listen to the times of the First World War from a person who lived during that period. You get a peek into the real fears, bravery, the worries and hopes of simple folk. That is the magic of this book. The downside of this listening is that it is affecting my socializing in the bus.

Google circle: People on my contact list on Gmail and Facebook have been raving about Google Circle. It is claimed to be Google’s answer to Facebook. But then on further digging I realized Google’s marketing gimmick. All people do not have access to Google Circle (atleast initially for the beta release) and hence creating an elite group of users. They seemed to have resorted to teenager mentality of creating an “It” group. Like all things Google this trick actually works. So will it be Google Buzz or Google Search? Wait and watch.

Courtney E. Martin: A woman of my generation with refreshing views. No male bashing, just a wholesome view of feminism. Watch her TED talk here-

Hey Teacher, leave the kids alone

2011-06-12T23:01:00.000+05:30

I must be very confused. In the last post I wrote about people opening their minds and letting their children choose non-conventional professions. But in this post I contradict myself.

Everytime I look at school brochures or ads, I remember Pink Floyd’s “We don’t need no education”. Here is one caption of a school that got my attention “Next stop London School of Economics”. There are some schools that claim that they can coach kids in class 6 to choose Engineering, Medicine, or Management branch. But why? These are not the only braches of study. What if I wanted to study History? Where would I fit in? What would I be labelled? The irony is even educated parents choose these schools. Why would you want to pressurize your children?
Summer camps were non-existent when I was in school or college. I understand parents who have no choice of leaving their children with their grandparents and have to send them to summer camps. I can even understand letting them attend camps for about an hour or so. But why send them to camps if you have someone to take care of them at home? I don’t want to be judgemental of these parents. It is possible, though, that the kids want to meet their friends in these camps and possibly do not have much space at home to play. But I would prefer a day filled with unplanned silly games.
From what I see on TV, read in books, and so on, I think this drive to expect over achievement from children is happening everywhere. I read that western parents who typically are lenient with their children are following Amy Chua’s philosphy. In Brain Rules book, the author says that people ask him what they could to do to ensure that their children go to Harvard!
Sure, I would want my son to attend the best of schools and universities. I would do my best to get him there too. But would I want to push him hard? I like what Hillary Clinton’s mother once said in Oprah’s show. She was asked what she hoped her daughter would do when she grew up. Her answer was simple. She said she wanted her daughter to reach her full potential. That is such a well thought and well articulated answer. Now that’s what I want for my son-reach his full potential.
Image courtesy-http://rock_n_literature.webs.com/noeducashion.htm

When I grow up I want to be..

2011-06-08T00:41:00.005+05:30

When I was growing up I was searching for my passion. I made a list of my qualities and the things I wanted out of my career. After a lot of searching I realized I wanted to be a Technical Writer when I was in MCA second year. But that goal was a struggle too. When I graduated there was a downturn in the software industry. I had to take a detour moved to ITES industry and then became a Technical Writer.

As most of you (read two or three readers of this blog) know I started my career in Dell in a call taking role. Then I became a Customer Experience Coach there. After that I was involved in Data Analysis. The problem with becoming successful in the wrong profession is stick on to it even when you can move else where.

When I look back one common thread in all my professional roles is that they are non conventional. When I interact with college going kids or younger I see that they have exposure to many things and most are not willing to go into conventional professions like engineering or medicine. It is very refreshing to listen to. Some choose engineering but are choosing options that are not very common. I see that some parents are willing to let their children follow their passion and it is such a welcome change. I wonder if the flourishing economy has a lot to do with it.

Here are some careers that I am sure many of us would not have considered seriously until about five years ago:

Scrapbooking-creating blog templates, designing website templates etc. I mean who would have ever thought that putting together bits of images would be a lucrative business.
Doodling and Doodling-designing Tshirts, posters etc. this surprised me. I would not have imagined that doodling at the end of your book can one day earn you $$$ (I didn’t find Rupee’s symbol, excuse me :p)
CEC-who would have thought that eaves dropping would be a profession.
Testing-ok this is not a new line of career but who would have thought finding fault was going to make you successful. Add to this list Editing too.

May be I am wrong. May be these professions have now come in a new avatar but they were always there. What do you think?
P.S. Edited to add links. When I wrote about the correlation bewteen growing economy and people choosing non-conventional professions, I meant parents are being open. People now lead a comfortable life compared to the previous generations and are willing to let their children take risks in their careers.

Personal Creed

2011-05-24T21:02:00.000+05:30

I wanted to write my personal creed, loosely put my life’s mission, for almost three years. However, I never got down to writing one. These words, every word, from Hilda Carroll best represent my thoughts.

I am a work in progress. I live each day conscious

that where I am is a result of my past thoughts,

words and deeds, and that where I’m going is being

shaped right now. So I try to show kindness and

respect to all whom I meet throughout my day,

including myself.

After spending over three decades living within my

comfort zone, I now strive to grow and stretch

myself. I have sometimes let fear of other people’s

opinions hold me back, but more and more now I

let that go and do what feels good and right for me

in the moment.

I believe in my own power and responsibility in

shaping how I experience every event in my life. I

am grateful for all the good in my life, both people

and experiences. And I am equally grateful for the

lessons I learned from less savoury events in my

life. (Though I hope not to repeat the painful

lessons or experiences again!)

I know that those whom I judge are mirrors of

myself, and I am learning the art of forgiveness and

non-judgement – of myself and others.

I am mindful that my time here is not only limited

but also uncertain. And so I put less things off until

'someday', and do more things now. I live the best

life that I can right now, because I know that right

here right now is all I really have.

Father, Mother, and Brother of the Bride

2011-05-15T15:28:00.002+05:30

**spoiler alert-this post is going to be very mushy. So if you do not like sentimental stuff stay away!**

I guess after a certain age, when a girl sees a wedding she dreams of her wedding and every married woman is reminded of her wedding day. I wonder if these reminisce continue for the rest of one’s life but one will remember it for a very long time. So, when I was watching bits of the royal wedding I was reminded of my own. Would love to share it with you.

First, my fantasy wedding:

I wanted a very low key wedding. I knew I wanted a south Indian Catholic wedding so I knew I was going to wear a sari. I did not know much about saris when I was young and therefore, the type of sari did not matter. I wanted simple jewels that would match the sari. I wanted decoration that was an elegant combination of flowers and fabric. I imagined a wedding invitation that contained an image of a bride and bridegroom, in light pink. I wanted my family and close friends to be there. I wanted a very short guest list. I wanted people who were very close and ones who would truly be happy for me. I dreamt of lot of laughter, smiles, joy, and love.

My wedding day.and the days before my wedding:

I knew like all parents my parents too looked forward to my wedding day. Every time my parents attended a wedding since I was probably 20, they would enquire about the caterers, decoration and so on. My parents saved all their life for my marriage. Every time my parents saved a small amount of money they would buy jewellery with it. My Mom for a very long time had been saving stuff for me.

My engagement was in Madras. I missed my brother and my close friends. On the day of my engagement I knew I was looking my best. My Dad who is more expressive than my Mom was happy to see me looking all dressed and pretty. My Mom did not say much but her look said it all. It was supposed to be a small private family only affair. The decorations were simple and tastefully done. The menu was good. I was surprised my parents could pull it off so well. Madras is not a very familiar city for us. We could do it with the help some members of the family. I was very happy that many of my family members could come to my engagement.

Days that led up to the big day passed quickly with shopping and lots of pampering. This was also the time when I was leaving my previous company so it was a little emotional too.

My Mom spent a lot of time to decide my look. She ensured that the designs of all my jewels were unique, took care of the clothes that were to be given as gifts, and so on. My parents prepared the guest list, invited people in person, and took special care of every detail.

The wedding was in my home town. I got married in the same Church my parents were married. My both sets of grandparents were married there too. The maternal side of my family and the maternal side of Dad’s family were all married in the same Church. So, lot of history there. It is a beautiful Church and a very powerful shrine too.

My Dad went to my hometown to arrange everything well in advance. Again, we had the support of family members who shouldered the responsibility of arranging everything. Meanwhile I was inundated with wishes from friends and family.

When we reached my hometown, I got to meet many members of my extended family. On the day before the wedding, we had a mix of customs of different regions. We had haldi and mehendi. I received a lot of gifts and was fed a variety of sweets. I was totally loving the attention. My brother as usual assumed he was elder brother and took charge of all the arrangements. He was willing to splurge on the expenses and wanted the best for me. I was not allowed to lift a finger and was completely pampered.

The day of the wedding began very early in the morning. I freshened up and was waiting for the parlour lady. Everybody got down to work and picked up a responsibility, including the little flower girl. I was the only one who probably had a good breakfast. I was ready by 7:30 AM. I later realized that none of my family members had had the time to have complete lunch too. My parents told me in a very matter of fact manner that that is the way things are in a marriage. Later in the evening my entire family made it to the reception in Nagercoil which is more or less a two hour drive from my hometown braving pouring rains. They saw the rains as a good omen saying I was blessed abundantly. Yes, with family like mine I am very blessed.

My brother was dressed in a white dhothi and shirt in the traditional south Indian fashion for the wedding. For the remaining ceremonies, he was dressed in maroon party shirt and dark trousers. He was dressed in a complete formal coat suit for the reception in Hyderabad. He looked like a million bucks in all of them. My little cousins also were dressed in traditional clothes for the wedding and salwar-kameezes for the remaining ceremonies. All of them looked very pretty. It was a beautiful family gathering. I dearly missed my cousins in Gujarat and abroad. If the wedding would have been in Christmas the entire lot would have been there. The day after the wedding was followed by a sumptuous meal for the entire groom’s family and their extended family.

The reception in Hyderabad was the best. It was right out of my fantasies. The decoration, the ambience, the positive vibes, the laughter, the joy, and above all loads of love. Most of my close friends were there except one who was stuck in TRS bundh, another who was stuck in Kerala, another who had an asthma attack and another one who broke his arm. Oh ya there was another one, no two, who were lost in their own worlds due to personal reasons. They were sorely missed.

We had a gorgeous looking cake which tasted awesome. The food was in Andhra style and hence spicy and hence I loved it. Every person who was present there was there out of sheer love for us and blessed us with all their hearts. My parents and brother warmly welcomed every guest and talked each one of them. They did it all for me. No other day can compete with the positive vibes I felt that day.

In the middle of the reception, a good friend came to us with ice cream cups so that we would not remain hungry. At the end of the reception, a few close friends stayed back and ensured that we had our dinners. They wanted us to taste every dish in the menu. I was grinning from ear to ear.

I am very grateful to my parents and my brother who ensured that my fantasies were turned into reality. Every detail of my wedding had my Mom’s touch of sophistication, my Dad’s commitment to the family, and brother’s happiness coupled with excitement. This is love, pure love. Thank you, Thank you.

This is my wedding invitation just as I wanted, the resolution is not the best but you get the idea:

The Church where I was married:

Hyderabad wedding reception’s decorations:

Smile .. please

2011-04-15T02:53:00.001+05:30

Another old post.
The other day at work, I noticed this married couple. The wife was waiting for her husband. The husband came down, started his bike, waited for his wife to sit and they left. I thought it was strange. Where was the “I am so happy to see you smile”? I know the wife is a lady with a nice smile not sure about the husband though. I was wondering if they had an argument but their body language did not show any signs of it. May be he had a long day or he is an introvert. But, she is his wife! Come on after all, a smile is just an acknowledgement which says “I see you”.
Slowly I started wondering what if I am married to a guy like that. Oh God, no Lord, please don’t do that.
I believe a man with an open smile is very attractive. An open smile indicates an open mind. A nice smile can compete with any number of good looking men out there. I know all the women will agree with me on this one.
An open laugh is also endearing. Not the kind of laugh that you see in the laughing clubs in the mornings. Those are plain scary. But the kind of laugh that is not conscious of the people around them. You know the kind of ones that are almost child like. The kind of laugh that is open and whole hearted. It indicates that the person is capable of having a good time immaterial of the situation they are in. I know all my close friends have it and I love them for it.
You think I am attaching a lot of importance on a smile or a laugh. Well my observations on smiles and laughs may not be backed by any scientific research. But I have talked to enough number of people to know that I am right.
Would’nt it be nice if people practiced it everyday. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Wake up in the morning and start your day with a nice smile. You go to work, check your mails and pick up coffee. Go around meet all your friends and wish them a bright good morning. That would be a great start. Then may be when you return home you would be able to give that “I am so happy to see you smile” to your spouse.
PS-Added this today-I am married to a man with an open smile. My son's smiles are the highlight of my day.
Image courtesy-remember copying it from the internet when I first posted this article. Don't remember from which site.

Congrats World Champion

2011-04-05T00:17:00.002+05:30

I know by now every Indian blog out there will be filled with cricket, world cup, patriotism, and so on. In short, every blog will tell you that we are world champions.

I have nothing new to say. The purpose of writing this piece is to record my special moments of this world cup for my future reference.

Back in my college days I would veg out in front of the TV for hours just to watch Rahul Dravid play. I can’t believe I watched test matches just to look at him. Slowly I lost interest in cricket just as my crush on Dravid faded. I got busy with life and a month back I didn’t even realize the world cup was approaching. I saw status messages on Facebook and asked one of my friends, very articulately “you mean the world cup world cup is approaching not the T20 or something”.

My world cup journey started with facebook and I tracked India’s progress on FB. I was too lazy to turn to sports column of the newspaper. I remained untouched for a long time. And then the India Australia quarter final happened. When I saw the employees in my office glued to the big screen in the cafeteria i was thrilled. We didn’t have such a turn out for very important townhalls too. The world cup fever started rubbing off on me.

We reached semi-final and played against Pakistan. I was looking forward to it like every Indian. Somehow this mania can be contiguous. I mean, I am not a India fanatic but somehow all the talk about the match got to me.

We gathered in the cafeteria post lunch to watch the match. The entire building was emptied out into the cafeterias. Both the national anthems were played. When the Indian anthem was played everybody stood up and the emotional fool in me started weeping. So here are some fb status messages before the match began:

1 lakh for a 10k ticket, 17 lakhs for a 10 second adv,22000 for a one way ticket to c'garh on wed morning flights,richest men in asia fighting for jet parking space at c'garh airport,i billion hearts synchronized at the same level, 75% productivity of the most upcoming nation stopped on the penultimate day of the financial year.....are you sure this is just a game.....cheers !!!
This country would not be as tense or excited if the end of the world were upon it!

And a few after we won:

Surrounded by Projector Screens & Plasma Televisions, 500+ EMEA guys cheering , and INDIA won....after sooo long seen such great Enthusiasm on Sales floor as ONE TEAM....luvd this day
We won... we won... we won...... :) :) :) after my engg days, today I prayed to the maximum possible extent
Now we can sleep peacefully...Good Night friends
Even Diwali was not so grand in my colony as its today...............
Mr. Gilani can give his team a ride back home now... ;-)
Wat a day! wat a drive! and to round it off wit some canning!
Lahu Ke Do Rang. Ek Neela Ek Blue!

Fast forward to the final-

When Sachin got out...I had Tears in my eyes....then I held The Indian flag when Gauti and Kohli were on a roll......I kept flag flying high for the last 15 overs....didnt pass it on to anyone else..Indiaaaaaaaaaaaa India....shouting out loud.. Such is the emotion, passion and exuberance when India is winning....
All for Sachin.... my childhood hero.... WE ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!
1.21 billion prayers finally answered...
Just saw a Sri Lankan drinking tea from saucer , he said the Indians took the cup !!!
I bet it is noisy all over in India! A win since 1983 sure calls for those firecrackers!!
Start breathing lads!
Dhoni ne dho di!

Edited to add - Two matches with brilliant ending and I am not talking about the result. The beautiful catch and the superb six.
(Image - http://cricketvillage.blogspot.com/)
Thanks a lot to all my witty friends.

Mornings

2011-03-29T15:09:00.004+05:30

Dug out another old post -
I am not a morning person but I love mornings. It’s the best time of a day. Of course evenings are beautiful too but mornings are more beautiful. The sights and sounds of early morning are music to the ears and a treat to the eyes.
Mornings are magical. Anybody who has worked in night shifts, I guess, will love it. I always liked mornings. After working in the nights, waking up in the mornings has been a real pleasure, something I will not take for granted.
Wake up in the morning, lie lazily in the bed and just listen to the sounds around your home. The wind chimes on my window clinking in the background. Have a cup of coffee. Read the newspaper. Have breakfast with my family. This is why we are born, to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
Yesterday when I woke up I heard a nightingale singing. How often do you get to hear it? Thank God, I live in the suburbs. Today the most amazing thing happened. I was watering my plants. The jasmine creeper had a few buds. It was absolutely lovely. So I thanked it and immediately there was a slight breeze. The plant made a slight bow as though it was saying “you are welcome”. WOW!!! Can’t think of anything intelligent to describe it.

Only Hearts Club

2011-03-28T12:11:00.003+05:30

When I was a kid, I wanted a certain brand of doll. My parents, specifically my Mom refused to buy it because it was very skinny. Years later I realised how far-sighted my Mom was. Now I do not like to gift any little girl with that popular toy because of image issues it causes in young girls. I found this toy store which is inline with my belief. It is a US-based toy store so ordering toys may be expensive. I wanted to share it with you just in case you like it and you have a cousin/friend who can ship it for you ;)

Only Hearts Club

Women

2011-02-16T17:50:00.005+05:30

I composed this article when I started blogging but I never got to post it. After changing two companies these thoughts seem very relevant even now. So here it goes...

Today I was having a discussion with a very close friend and I realized how much we women depend on each other. Don’t know how much men need to bond with other men. But we women just have to be around women.

We need each other’s company to go to the ladies room too.

Can anyone live without friends?? What will happen to coffee breaks without them? Who will give us our daily dose of gossip? Who will listen to your sob stories? Who will laugh at you/ with you? Who will give you tips on dresses and make up?

We know at work place we should not be too attached to people. But I was never able to stick to that rule. I always found at least one close friend in any team that I moved into. And that friend is always a girl/lady/women (at this age all these terms do not seem to fit).

Don’t have a sister so can’t comment on having a sister.

As a child we of course need our Moms. But as we grow up we need them even more. Without getting too mushy about it, we need our Moms for best practice sharing at different stages of our life.

I guess after a certain age Moms need their daughters too, as much as they love to say that we pester them. Have you observed women who have no daughters? They look old beyond their years. I think it is because after marriage women loose touch with their friends. Husband and children become a biggg priority. So when sons are ready to “fly from their nests” women suddenly become lonely. I am not saying men don’t take care of their parents. But somehow they do not share the same bond that a daughter shares with her mother. When daughters reach their teens, they become their Mother’s friend. In spite of the fact that this relationship sometimes turns into a love-hate relationship, it is one that both the parties cherish. And then women start to enjoy their lives once again. Trips to beauty parlors (take your Mom to a pedicure, she will not admit it but she will love it), shopping, eating out, working on projects of mutual interest etc makes it ever so interesting. I could go on about it forever.

My Baby

2010-11-17T18:14:00.004+05:30

Here are just bits about my pregnancy that I wanted to share:
I don’t know how I was so sure but i knew that I was pregnant. Just intuition I guess. When I went to the doctor for confirmation, I was a little embarrassed because I was the only one who was in her thirties. However, when I got the results I did not really care about my age or the people around me. It was not until the next visit that I realized how lucky I was. Very young women were visiting the hospital for problems like cysts and hormonal imbalances. I am very grateful that I did not face any such problems.
I did not have any of the common symptoms like morning sickness etc. However, I have had some uncommon symptoms but I will spare you the details. I have had to give up a few of my favorite things too like high-heeled shoes, wardrobe stuck to salwar kameez, minimum hair coloring, and very little pickle, no coffee, very little chocolate, no pasta, no Chinese food and so on.
Ever since I got the confirmation, every day has had its beautiful moments. The first scan was like witnessing a miracle. This was the first time I saw my baby. I could not make much of it, though, except a tiny fluttering on the screen. This tiny fluttering was the throbbing of my baby’s heart. I do not think I was more grateful in my life to God and appreciated technology than I did at that moment.
It was more than five months of my pregnancy and I could not feel the baby move. First, I did not think much about it but I slowly began worrying. Then on one Sunday, I could feel the baby move. I guess I felt it before but I did not realize it. However, that day I was somehow sure. When I told my Mom about it, she was thrilled and gave me palm sugar so that the baby would move more.
My baby’s communication with me has been amazing. He moved around a lot when I ate sweets, especially when I ate sweets from the best of quality shops. When I slouched, he would start tapping my stomach as though he was asking me to give him enough space to move.
He is such a joy. He is mamma’s boy, mamma’s pride and joy. I pray to God that he has good health and strength of character. With these two he can achieve anything. Thank you God.
P.S. -I know this post sounds like rambling but it comes straight from the heart.

Perceptions

2010-06-08T11:29:00.000+05:30

Back in my college days, my friends and I liked playing an idle game while waiting for the bus in the bus stop. We would observe the passers-by and guess all we could about them. These details could be the college they studied, the course they were studying etc. Inevitably, every time we saw a boy and a girl together we would try guess if they were just friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, brother and sister, friends but on the way to something more, just started dating, etc. Yeah, yeah we were that intellectual. Thanks.
Recently while commuting back from work, I realized I was subconsciously playing this game. This time I was observing two women. One was young and the other was older. The younger one was married so I was looking for clues to guess if they were mother and daughter or mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The older woman was trying to descend from the platform onto the road. The younger woman extended her hand to support the older woman. However, the older woman refused the offer and struggled to land on the road. Hmm, there must have been a million possibilities for their behavior but what do you think I concluded? Yeah, yeah shout bias. I realized that the subjects of my observation these days follow this pattern. Funny how age, situation, etc affect your perceptions.

Us

2010-05-19T10:53:00.004+05:30

I never understood how one could meet a person once and decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives with him or her. I was surprised when people say that you must follow your heart and that I didn’t feel anything so strongly. Then I met this tall and handsome guy who wears more jewellery than I do, and everything changed. So, as move closer to the six month mark, here is a picture of Us.

If Video killed Radio Star …who will kill TV?

2009-07-15T22:14:00.002+05:30

After two days of leave and watching non-stop TV, I want to know –

Who reads all the feeds splashed across the NEWS channels’ screens. They are displayed everywhere on the screen, in all directions, and they have no correlation to each other.
Who watches reality shows? Going by the popularity, may be everybody.
I thought “Moment of truth” was pathetic and it is going to be aired on all channels in all the languages. Whose brainchild was it anyway?
Breaking NEWS: Sushma says “Don’t get fooled by Rahul’s chocolate boy looks”. That is breaking NEWS?
Almost all channels run promos on Becoming “green” or Sustainable living etc. Take the Lead! Show us how you are contributing to the cause.

After all the mayhem on TV, I still love my college days’ favourites:
Friends
Everybody Loves Raymond
CSI – All three series
Oprah – I really miss u
BBC Documentaries
Travel n Living and Discovery channels

Things I love

2009-07-05T22:35:00.000+05:30

I finish listing the things that annoy me and now it is time to list the things I love.

Books
Movies
Chocolate
Fruits drenched in chocolate
Excitement when you are interested in a guy
Rains
Winds
Mornings
Filter coffees in the mornings
Evenings
Shopping
Window shopping
Walk bare feet on grass
Gazing at stars in the night
Moonlit night
Walk on the beach when waves crash on you
Long drives
Sit under a tree to read a book or chat with friends
Sudden spray of water from a fountain

There are many more but could recollect only these.

Chowmahal

2009-07-05T22:16:00.001+05:30

Another great day with friends. Another memory to lock away and cherish. Thanks to Suhas for the lovely pic.

List of Irritants

2009-07-05T22:11:00.005+05:30

V asked me to list things that annoy me and she believes people who dominate people annoy me. I don’t mind people who dominate but they are annoyed with me. After all, only one person can be dominating in a group.

I am not sure if this space is going to be enough to list the things that annoy me, here it goes anyways:

Ill mannered people
Community/ religious fanaticism and prejudice
Dowry and all forms of oppression of women
People who simply cannot mind their business

I can list a few more but I suspect I have those qualities too.

Taramati Baradari

2009-06-22T22:08:00.001+05:30

I was there for the World Music Day. Probably not the best picture of Taramati Baradari but this will remain as a pleasant memory.

Butterfly Award

2009-06-18T21:33:00.007+05:30

Yeah I got an award. The award was given to me by Videhi. Thanks V.
Here go the rules of the award:

Put the logo on your blog. (And no, I have no idea why the logo says "for the coolest blog I ever know". LOL!!!)
Add a link to the person who awarded you
Award up to 10 other blogs
Add links to those blogs on yours

I would love to present the award to:

Thanks V for nudging me write again.

Don’t Look Back

2009-06-18T19:40:00.003+05:30

After a long day at work, in my previous work place, a friend and me were leaving for home. I said that we should walk without looking back and if we did the chances of getting more work was very high. This reminded me of a story I heard as a child.
This is a story from the Old Testament and it is about a noble man who was living in a village full of sinners. One day God appears in his dream and asks him to leave the village with his wife and daughter. God warned him that the village was going to be destroyed. While they were leaving the village, they were not supposed to look back no matter what happened. So while the three of them were walking away from the village, they heard bolts of thunder and fire destroying the village. The man and his daughter walked without looking back but his wife could not resist temptation and looked back. Immediately she turned to a pillar of salt. This story is usually told in the context of absolute obedience to God’s will.
When I first heard the story as a child, I thought it was a little too harsh. As I was narrating the story to my friend, I realised it could be a metaphor for life. You are to believe in God/ destiny/ Superior being and follow him or her. You don’t look back no matter what happens. If you do, you could become a pillar of salt - read tears. No regrets.

Quirks!!

2009-06-03T22:43:00.003+05:30

Quirks! Few weird qualities that everyone possesses but we laugh when we see them in others.

Here are some quirks:

When I like a song, I obsessively listen to it over and over.

Ever noticed when people exchange files from mobiles or any other device using Bluetooth? When my friends and I exchange music, we all come closer to form a circle after enabling Bluetooth like a group of junkies trying to use a joint. Once the files are exchanged we move back saying “aahh” as though we just got our fixes.

I know someone who loves to keep everything clean and orderly. One day at a restaurant, she realised that the sugar coated ‘Sauff’ was not spread evenly on the plate and she started spreading it in all seriousness.

I know a Test Engineer who just revamped his blog and tested every aspect of the template including comments. Now that is called being a thorough professional.

I saw this lady in a train who was started spraying room freshener as soon she boarded the train. She went on to spray every few hours during the journey.

But to each his/her own. Who are we to complain? They are just quirks. Is'nt it?

Words I loved this week

2009-05-28T22:15:00.001+05:30

Some quotes I liked this week. I love the dry humour in them too.
First is from Henry Miller and I know I have to learn this for better relationships.
“Living apart and at peace with myself, I came to realize more vividly the meaning of the doctrine of acceptance. To refrain from giving advice, to refrain from meddling in the affairs of others, to refrain, even though the motives be the highest, from tampering with another’s way of life – so simple, yet so difficult for an active spirit. Hands off!”
Second quote is from Lisa Kogan, one of the bloggers in Oprah.com and it is from this page. Read on and you know why I love it: the content and the choice of words.
“I like women. I like them as much as or more than I like almost anybody. But the women I like best aren't always strong, and they're certainly not invincible. They're creative, they're idiosyncratic, and they're around if you need them. They complain, they console, and they can shop their way through virtually any crisis. They know how to raise hell and they know how to raise children. They can spot a scam, a lousy doctor, and a crummy boyfriend in under 10 seconds. They've perfected the withering stare that makes a nasty salesperson, flight attendant, or coworker fold like an origami swan. ….. They've never met a carbohydrate they didn't want to have a close personal relationship with. They brake for sex, sleep, and solitude, cashmere, caffeine, and Joan Didion. They've got nerves of steel, the courage of their convictions, and excellent footwear. They're sugar and spice and everything I aspire to. They remain cautiously optimistic.”

Ahh!! What was that??

2009-05-24T21:04:00.004+05:30

When parents are out of town, one of the perks is staying up late to read books. Other benefits include sleeping in their huge bed in their air conditioned bedroom. It is way past 11PM and I am reading Richard Bach’s “Bridge Across Forever”. Aghh, this chapter is so boring and Mr. Bach, you always write about soul mates but you married three times! I say to myself “It is ok Kalpana; let it go, remember to each his/her own. There is also a theory that we have more than one soul mate, so go with the flow.”

I close my eyes and listen to the stillness of the house. Except for the soft hum of AC and the ticking of the clock, the house is completely silent. I open my eyes to look at the clock and it is almost 12. I chuckle thinking it is time for ghosts to go hunting. Oooh spooky! The voice in my head says “Don’t laugh silly, you can get your wish fulfilled.” Ok, time to focus on other things. Hmm let’s see politics- nah, music- coldplay, TV- whatever. Close your eyes and try to sleep.

Two dogs start barking and I remembered my friend Shoja saying “Some souls are lost and they roam on earth. We can’t see them but dogs can hear their footsteps..”. Whoa where did that come from? She said that when we were in sixth class.

Don’t know why but I start feeling that I am not alone at home. I have this strange feeling that there is something going on. That’s ok, one of my sweet vampire friends will be awake and I can talk to them. Now where is that mobile? Oops!! It is on the dresser in the other room. When I placed my foot on the floor, I could hear something walking and nails scratching the floor. Ahem forget mobile, I will stay in bed. I heard strange sounds from kitchen.

Mom says three Hail Marys will do the trick. “Hail Mary full of grace..”. A prayer without a strong faith is not going to help. Remember that tamil movie where the guy was holding a cross without any faith and the ghost attacked him. Ok ok. Let me just concentrate .. focus….zzzz

The alarm goes off and it is 6 AM. Well that seemed like a bad dream. I go to my room and everything seems fine. I freshen up and go into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee for me. I open one of the cabinets for coffee powder. Oh God! What is this? A rat? Yuck, where did it come from?? So, this was the one causing havoc all night! I sheepishly called the exterminators.

Comes with the territory

2009-05-21T23:35:00.002+05:30

Did you observe that people from a particular profession say the same things or behave in a similar fashion? I guess it comes with the territory.

Politicians fighting for everything and right now they are fighting for sharing seats. Oh ya I forgot we are talking about politics, it’s bound to get dirty.

Models/ singers/ actors always come into their by profession totally by accident. “A friend made this portfolio as a prank and submitted to the agency” - Didn’t know making a portfolio was cheap. “the director spotted me while I was going to college” – if only life was that simple.

Ever heard any HR personnel giving a simple answer straight to the point? Standard answer is “I will get back to you on that”. Same goes for people managers and the standard answer with managers is “good question”. But where is the answer!!

If I had a penny every time I heard a customer service personnel, except Dell of course (wink wink), who very mechanically said “I completely understand how you feel” I would be rich.

Share what you think.

The Disappearing Woman

2009-05-20T00:02:00.008+05:30

I was watching TV during the weekend and it only reiterated the fact that women are disappearing. Disappearing literally. Have you noticed that over the years the silhouette of women is diminishing.? There was this infomercial that was aired on Discovery channel a few years ago. A little girl draws the figure of a woman, erases it and then repeatedly redraws it so that the width of the figure goes on shrinking. This is exactly what has been happening for some years now. Look around and you will find images of women, all of whom seem to come out of a single mould. Pencil sizes! Woman where are your curves?

We have had a few incidents of models collapsing on the ramp resulting in instant death. There are women who have pre-mature babies because their bodies just cannot carry the weight of the baby inside. Can you believe instances of osteoporosis among women in their early thirties? What is the message we are giving to young girls? Never to be happy with our bodies? Increasingly girls as young as two have anorexia. Eating disorders are directly proportional to the availability of food in any economy.

There are so many women who feel guilty while eating even a single morsel of food. Women eat a particular variety of food to avoid putting on weight. Carbohydrates and fats are necessary too. Moderation and a balanced diet is the key. Women should realize that as we grow older, our bodies change and its needs change too. Realize food is nourishment and learn to have a healthy relationship with food. Realize that if you have cravings, it is ok to indulge in them once in a while. If you do not indulge it is going to come back at you at some point in life, back with a revenge. You have a problem when you get carried away with it. Realize that bland food may not always be healthy. Tasty food and food that is presented well can kill hunger before we starting eating it. The solution here is being smart and aware of the food we eat. We believe that salads and soups are the healthiest. But at the end of the day salads are generally uncooked and can contain huge amounts of chemicals. I wish organic farms are encouraged so that the prices of organic products come down.

Yesterday when I was in a supermarket, a group of women in their twenties walked in. They were all excited to find sugarless snack bars. A few of the bars were specially meant for women. One of the ladies looked at the contents and calculated the calories. She immediately announced that the claims of the manufacturer were bogus. It was nice to watch a smart woman. Women have to be aware of such things and be wary of tall claims made by any product. Women must learn to make informed choices.

Even though my post seems biased towards women who are on the heavier side, I know many women who are skinny and healthy. These women are always under pressure to gain weight. I love Dove ads because Dove embraces the idea of beauty in all shapes and colours. The cynic in me says it could be a marketing strategy, but atleast they do not promote unhealthy standards for beauty. When will each woman in the world accept her body completely?

Only You

2009-05-09T22:02:00.007+05:30

Before there is a flurry of posts on Mother’s day, let me be the first to one to start. This is not going to be a mushy one. Of course I love my Mom. I have always been Daddy’s girl but my Mom is the one who shaped me into the person that I am now. She has more influence on me than I realise. People who go shopping with me know this. I always look at any dress from her point of view. She is a miracle. The best cook ever. She is smart. She learnt MS Office before my Dad could start figuring what it was all about.

Well anybody who knows me knows that I quote my Mom very frequently. Here are some of my Mom’s comments:

I tend to whistle a lot which she obviously hates. Her response: “Stop that. You will grow a moustache.”

My brother was going through a phase when he was wearing only black, to be specific, black t-shirt with black jeans. My Mom said “he works in a coal mine”.

The other day I was complaining that my gym instructor was torturing me. She asked if “is she rolling you on the ground?”.

My Badge

2009-05-03T21:57:00.001+05:30

The first badge I created ...

New Look

2009-05-03T21:54:00.001+05:30

Tried a new look for my room ...

For Sure

2009-05-03T19:03:00.005+05:30

Oprah was once asked what she knew for sure and she went on ask this question to all the people she knew. The answers are listed in her website. Here are a few I am sure of –

I always was and am worried of many flaws in my looks. I got over a few and I know there will be a few added to that list as I age. But I know that at the end of the day as much as I would love to look like Cindy Crawford, I am not going to look like her and may be that is part of my charm. However, caring about how we look drives us to preserve what we have.

At every point of my life I always hankered for something. But my quest for tomorrow’s happiness should not stop me from living this moment.

I should surround myself with people who are positive and who are constantly working on themselves to be better people.

This was an ‘aha’ moment for me while watching the Oprah show. But I had to relearn this so many times. People treat you the way you want to be treated (may be at a subconscious level) irrespective of how much you care about them or they care about you. If someone behaves badly the first time, it is their fault. But after that each time that they misbehave, it is your fault.

No matter how much you love your job, it should not be your only definition.

So what do you know for sure?

Chomp chomp with chopsticks

2009-04-15T23:35:00.011+05:30

Shilpa, Suhas and I were tired of all the daily routine and we decided we deserved a good break. Shilpa said we can meet at her place and that she has a little surprise for us. I reach her place and was greeted by cute Teddy (her black pom doggie). Suhas came in later and Teddy greeted her with more love. Suhas was trying to look composed but we could all hear her heart beat loudly.

So there we were in Shilpa’s kitchen taking in the sumptuous aroma trying to look like we were helping her. Of course we were gossiping about everything under the sun while Shilpa was hurriedly chopping and stirring in her cooking paradise.

Ok time for some back ground. I have been to a few “authentic” Chinese restaurants but always avoided eating with chopsticks.

Shilpa’s logic – eat with chopsticks to eat slowly and your tummy will realize you are full before your plate is empty. So she googled and learnt to eat with chopsticks. So today, she insisted that it was now our turn to learn it and coaxed us to be sporty. Suhas and I were nervously looking at each other. Shilpa assured us that it was just the three of us and so it was ok to make a mess.
1:30 PM
The table was set. It looked very colorful. One large plate with triangular brown sandwiches topped with tomatoes and capsicum that was toasted together to give a pizza look. Potatoes drizzled with vinegar and masala, fried with chopped garlic till they were a beautiful orange. One small tray filled with shreds of cucumber salad and another salad made of curd and onions. Fried rice smelling of heavenly basmati served in a gorgeous black Turkish clay bowl. All I could remember was Shilpa saying earlier in the day that there were very few vegetables like capsicum, potatoes and tomatoes. With the limited supplies she could fill the table with so many delicious dishes. Is’nt she a genius? Meet her and you will love her.

We were hungry and ready to attack the food. Each of us had a plate, a bowl and a pair of chopsticks in front of us. For a change I was patient with food and let Suhas pick the first piece of sandwich. Suhas nervously prods the sandwich and it kept moving away as though it had a mind no legs of its own. So Shilp showed us the index finger action. “See ..this way.. hold the sticks closer”. The sticks in her hand were moving so gracefully and so we imitated her. Suhas managed to pick the sandwich.

It was my turn to pick the sandwich. Oops it slips back into the plate. My chopstick goes click click but the naughty sandwich always escapes. Slowly I could grip it and quickly dumped it on to my plate before I could drop it on the table. I had to pick it again and grip it hard so that I could bite a piece of it. Slowly the sticks reach my mouth with the sandwich safely between them – Voila - My first bite of a sandwich in a chopstick!! Yuhoo.

Shilp served us rice in the bowl. I was trying hard to pick a few grains of rice, balance it on the sticks until it reached my lips and stuff it in my mouth. At first it was just one grain and slowly the number increased.

This continued for sometime and our fingers began paining. But that did not stop us from eating. I usually avoid eating capsicum and stay away from green chilllies. I, however, hog on all other varieties of spicy food. So I had the additional task of separating the capsicum and chillies from the rice, pick them out of the bowl and place them on the plate. We stopped noticing each other and of course stopped talking too and concentrated only on food. Tasty food. Hmm. Delicious food.

3:30 PM
We completed all the food and my plate was filled with pieces of capsicum and chillies. Mission accomplished. Shilpa was right as always. We were full but we did not overeat.
We thoroughly enjoyed the hunting and the picking. So long chopsticks, until next time. Of course thanks Shilp.

Bookish habits

2009-04-05T22:04:00.002+05:30

A questionnaire, I found on someone’s blog. Some dirty book habits revealed.

1. To mark your page you: use a bookmark, bend the page corner, leave the book open face down? I always use bookmarks. Dislike spoiling books.

2. Do you lend your books? Not really. I give them to very few close friends.

3. You find an interesting passage: you write in your book or NO WRITING IN BOOKS! I have another book for noting interesting passages and poems.

4. Dust jackets - leave it on or take it off. As much as I do not like them, I leave them on.

5. Hard cover, paperback, skip it and get the audio book? Paperbacks are easy on the pocket and lighter to carry. Audio books are convenient while travelling or when I am too tired to sit up and read.

6. Do you shelve your books by subject, author, or size and color of the book spines? No order.

7. Buy it or borrow it from the library? Mostly buy. Its thrilling to buy books. Library books are generally dirty and I tend to wash my hands after reading them. No, I don’t have OCD.

8. Do you put your name on your books - scribble your name in the cover, fancy bookplate, or stamp? I write my name before lending them. Don’t boo, they are mine.

9. Most of the books you own are rare and out of print books or recent publications? A mix of new and old but no rare books.

10. Page edges - deckled or straight? Straight.

11. How many books do you read at one time? Just one. Finish ‘em before jumping to another.

12. Be honest, ever tear a page from a book? No, never.

First Bloom of the Season

2009-03-29T21:31:00.001+05:30

Lessons From the Past

2009-03-28T21:55:00.002+05:30

If one is a Tamil and talks about the Sri Lankan conflict, the person is seen as a LTTE sympathizer. I guess many Tamilians follow the Sri Lankan conflict simply because the brunt of the refugee problem is borne by people in Tamil Nadu. I am not writing this as a Tamilian but as a human being upset with the conflicts in this world. This post is not about the Sri Lankan crisis but this is about hate politics that is present in every part of the world.

Look around and you will find it everywhere. Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Tibet, Myanmar, Ghaza, and the list goes on. It is not about taking sides and blaming who is right or wrong. It is about human rights and the lack of respect for human life by the parties involved in the conflict. In Sri Lanka a major sector of the population are not given equal rights only because they speak Tamil even though they have been in the country for centuries. In Pakistan, women are victimized in all possible ways to settle family feuds. Even though this has been happening in various parts of the world including India, it is a very common phenomenon in Pakistan. Talibanism is slowly spreading in Pakistan. One instance of atrocity is girls after the age of four are not allowed to study. . How do these countries plan on developing when 50% of their population are denied their basic rights? Conflicts in places like Myanmar, Tibet, and Middle East have been raging for years. During the Bosnian conflict, it was so heart wrenching to watch people begging to be allowed into other countries. These were people who were doctors, teachers or held other respectable positions in their own country and were suddenly forced to beg for survival. Almost the entire continent of Africa is like a ticking time bomb. The horror stories of such conflicts are shocking, to say the least. I felt ashamed being a human being when I heard such stories.

Why can’t we learn lessons from history? When Afghanistan was beginning to get ‘Talibanized’, we watched and did nothing. That problem continued to fester and spilled over to every part of the world. We should have learnt our lessons after the two world wars. But so many wars and conflicts have erupted since the World War II. How many more lessons do we need?

What makes such situations worst is the rest of the world plays escape politics. After World War II, every nation in the world is supposed to condemn and prevent conflicts whenever there is a case of ‘Ethnic cleansing’. Instead every country plays word games calling such conflicts everything but ethnic cleansing. For instance, the present Indian government has not really issued a statement condemning the attacks in Sri Lanka. There are reports that the government has supplied military power to the Sri Lankan government.

I am not suggesting all countries should go to war whenever there is a conflict. But we should force the parties involved in a conflict to sit down to negotiate.

Speaking of lessons from the past, I am scared of the hate politics that is going on in India. I sometimes see the kind of manipulation that happened during Hitler’s reign in Germany repeating in India. The similarities are just scary. The talks of pride for the country, the cultural guardians, the talk of victimization of Indians by external forces, threat to Indian cultural and so on. I am very much an Indian and I am more Indian than so called “Cultural Guardian”. So please stop all the propaganda for your personal benefits. We don’t need Hitlers ruling this country.

I know none of these parties deserve my vote but I don’t want my vote to be misused by the political parties. The first time I voted, it was easy to cast an invalid vote because it was on a ballot paper. The second time was on the voting machine so I was confused and was forced to vote for a lesser devil. This time I am going to find a way to cast an invalid vote on a voting machine. Any ideas how I can do it?

Random Thoughts

2009-03-20T22:54:00.002+05:30

Work is keeping me so busy that I am very exhausted and I am missing out on my daily, no weekly dates with my muse. Sad.

Added to this is the change in climate or some virus causing ill health to everybody, including me. Damn the virus.

Over the last week, there was an over dose of Women’s day celebration at work, TV and Church. I realized everybody has an opinion of ‘what a woman should be’ and ‘how she should behave’. My favorite book, ‘Little Princess’ sums how every human being must behave. When someone does not behave properly, firmly but very nicely say that it is not acceptable. Don’t take it lying low. On the other hand, one should never behave badly because a Princess never stoops low. Of course it is just a children’s book but you can learn a lot from it. You don’t have to agree, this is just my opinion.

What is the chance of meeting four your colleagues in a company of 200 odd employees in the same weekend in different parts of the city? Do we all lead uniform lives?

Slogged in the gym for more than a month and a half to shed 4 kilos. Congratulate me people.

Tired of everything, need a vacation.

If I were ….

2009-03-03T23:47:00.004+05:30

Found this article somewhere and I gave it a go. For a few, I blindly followed instructions and for a few others, I added a bit of creativity:

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Crescentia Kalpana David

2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and fathers middle names)
Mary J.

3. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
JosephSamuel

4. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, wrongly spelled shortened version of your name)
Dav Creesens … uhoh

5. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Dog

6. SOAP OPERA NAME:(favorite flower, favorite French word)
Lily Machére

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The purple lemonade …. Ehhh :(

8. MILLITARY CODE NAME: (favorite German adjective, dangerous character in a book)
Prima Nemesis

9. STREET NAME: (favorite ice cream flavour, fav cookie)
Pralinechoc Oreo

10. PORN NAME: (favorite spice, street you grew up on)
Ginger NH 4

11. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of your middle name plus izzle)
Kalizzle

14. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets – real or imaginary)
Black Honey

15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy)
Summer Grapes

It’s the budget, STUPID

2009-02-25T22:35:00.005+05:30

Its that time of the year again. Its time to submit investment proofs. I missed the deadline and submitted investment proofs late. I don’t know if it is just me or if everybody has this problem. I don’t like admitting this but I do not enjoy dealing with money. I do not plan my investments. Worst of all, I do not make any budgets.
The first three years of my professional life, I was an excellent citizen – I never saved anything on taxes. I know zilch in finance.
My New Year resolution was to be knowledgeable about finances. It was 2006 New Year resolution though. I have not learnt anything until now. Frustrated with my lack of discipline, I was googling for some basics in finances and look what I found – an article on what you should not buy new. The following, they say should never be bought new:

CDs and DVDs: hey I don’t want to encourage piracy.

Books: I have allergies. The only time I read a very old book was when I was a teenager. It was in tatters and was very dusty. I was continuously sneezing and my Mom banned all old books from home.

Electronics: don’t keep me away from technology.

Designer Clothes: How can a girl live without a few designer clothes? What is the use of all the money if you look like a hag?

Baby and Maternity Clothes: ahem N/A

Games and toys: as long as electronics are not included here, I don’t care.

Home and car: don’t have either.

Looks like I will never budget or plan my investments effectively. When will I ever learn?

One of my First Designs

2009-02-19T22:57:00.002+05:30

One of my first designs and it shows. Here is a wall paper I designed for a guitarist friend of mine, just for fun. The wall paper was designed like a CD cover. Should start designing something again instead of scrapblogging or scrap booking. Designing is more therapeutic than scrapblogging.

Oh ya Valentine’s .. hmm

2009-02-15T15:26:00.004+05:30

As soon as logged into gtalk on Monday morning, one of my closest friends asked me if I had any plans for the weekend. I asked him if it wasn’t too early to be planning for the weekend. His reply was “For you and me, it’s just another weekend. Many people wait for this weekend for ages” and that is when I realised it was Valentine’s on Saturday.

What is it about Valentines that makes people go crazy, mushy, and do all the sweetest things possible. I know a couple that went bungee jumping on V’day. Over the week I heard so many crazy things. One friend promised herself that she was going to wear black because wearing red didn’t make any difference. Another friend was cribbing that he had only dates to eat and no ‘hot dates’.

My Valentine’s Day started with message from a sweet friend wishing me and my ---- a happy V’day. My dear SMS friend, there is no name yet to fill that blank. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your gf though.

That bungee jumping couple got married yesterday. I attended their wedding and had a great time with a few of my closest friends. What do you do when you have a lot of time and a camera in hand? You take pictures of everything. - Hands, legs, bags, food, hairstyles, flowers, bugs etc.

Bungee jumping couple - You guys look so cute together and I am so happy for you guys. I particularly liked the SMS reminder where you said you where happy to marry your best buddy. Congrats. Oh btw the food was awesome.

Write Mind?

2009-02-09T00:15:00.001+05:30

My previous role required me to be left brained. Now in my current role as a Technical writer, I am supposed to be right brained. But I wonder if I am one.
I took this test on personality:
My personality type is ENFJ.
You can try it too - http://www.kisa.ca/personality/
So I am:
Extraverted (E) 54% Introverted (I) 46%
Intuitive (N) 68% Sensing (S) 32%
Feeling (F) 60% Thinking (T) 40%
Judging (J) 77% Perceiving (P) 23%
Me extraverted? Thhattt is a surprise.
Now I wonder if I am left brained, right brained or no brained.

Beauty in Tiny Packages

2009-02-08T21:00:00.001+05:30

Perfect Day

2009-02-02T23:23:00.016+05:30

So what makes a perfect day? This is my perfect day:

Wake up in the morning to the sound of wind chimes hanging on your window and soft breeze blowing through your room. Wake up, freshen up and have a nice cup of coffee.

Work out for a while. Water plants. Have a good breakfast with your family. Do your regular chores while listening to awesome music. You actually listen to every word in the song because your mind is not clouded with any thoughts. Have a warm super shower. Comb your hair and know that it will stay that way through out the day. Same with lip stick and eye liner.

Drive to work with no traffic jams or crazy drivers on your way. Reach office on time. Go around the office wishing all your friends a good day. Attend meetings and know that everybody is having a great time at work. Peacefully complete composing atleast one topic. Have a quick lunch. Your PM reviews your work and says “AAmmmai-zing work. Its perfect, nothing else has to be added.” – hold your breath - Yep, those comments are for the first iteration. You complete atleast three items on your to-do list for the day. You get through the day without discussing recession, job losses, market crashes, and so on.

Reach home to help your Mom in the kitchen. Have a quite dinner with your family. Yeah, as usual browse the Web after dinner while listening to music. Blog for atleast 15 minutes just as you have been promising yourself forever. Read those technical articles without feeling exhausted. Chat with a few friends and they forget to ask you “that question”. Go to bed after wishing all your friends ‘Gn :)’ by forwarding some stupid sms. Sleep with a good song playing in your head.

Crazy List

2009-01-20T22:41:00.008+05:30

Something that started as a prank is now a minor addiction. I am talking about forwarding sms. It started back in my night shift days. Back then my friends would message when they were on their weekly offs teasing me that they were going to sleep and I had to slog through the night. This continued and became a daily affair.

Like most people I have this set of friends who message regularly. I then created a ‘crazy list’ on my mobile. This list contains all the senders and receivers of my silly sms(s). Many people have been added to this list since its creation. This is a list of people who have a good sense of humour and of course they forward me many sms(s). These people send me a series of sms right from sweet messages to some really cheesy silly messages. But I love them all. I happily recycle each message I receive.

Hail CUG. Hail non CUG members too.

Do you have a list too? I know Shilpa calls her list ‘Bug List’.

Kal Annai (Stone Dam)

2009-01-15T00:06:00.001+05:30

For more info -
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1072417/rain_water_harvesting.html

Does’nt Love Change Everything??

2009-01-14T23:59:00.001+05:30

Trigger for this post is a conversation I had with one of my closest buddies. We were talking about Rab Ne .., the dialog where the heroine says that her hubby is just a plain guy. Don’t remember the dialog but she says something to that effect.
We were wondering if there would be a movie where a guy would say “She is very plain, actually boring too but I love her”. Heheh that would be funny. But do you really want to hear that? Na. I mean if you care about a person would’nt they look attractive. The more you care, the more attractive that person becomes. Boring? Well, if you are attracted to someone, don’t they become interesting?
Movies… so out of touch with reality

My Vacation

2009-01-13T23:03:00.006+05:30

I just remembered that I never wrote anything about my vacation. It was more of a pilgrimage than a vacation. I went to Velankanni in Tamil Nadu. This is a very important pilgrim centre for Roman Catholics of South India. It was also one of the worst hit areas of the 2004 tsunami.
I have been there three times since the tsunami. I still cannot believe that this seemingly calm sea can cause so much havoc and destruction. I was on the beach on 26th December 2008 and I saw this curious scene. There was a family on the beach and they were carrying plastic bags full of flowers. They emptied the bags in the water, kissed the water and made the sign of the cross. Family of a victim?? Later they were playing on the beach. So did they come to terms with it or were they just paying respect to all the victims?? Did not have the courage to ask though. I was not sure if they would not like the intrusion.
I never saw something like that and I thought I could share it.

I am Tagged too

2009-01-04T23:48:00.011+05:30

I don’t like answering these questionnaires. I like the ones which give you a score at the end and go on to describe you as a smart, sexy, and sweet woman, all of which are true of course. This questionnaire has no such ratings. I am doing it only for you Nikhil, grudgingly. Just kidding.

If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be? ------> You will survive it, eventually.
If you could have one dream come true which one would it be ? ----> I choose not to answer that.
Whose butt would you like to kick? ----> ah jus so manyyyy
What would you do with a billion dollars?----> shop, travel, buy a plane ..
Will you fall in love with your best friend?----> Na, friendship and love are two different things. I can hope to become the best friend of the guy I love but not the other way around.
Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?----> Both.
How long would you wait for someone you love?---->Forever
If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?----> Run. Each one of us has had our share of heart breaks. Why would you want to inflict it on someone else?
If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?----> Global warming, abuse against women and children, wars, prejudices of all kinds .. just so many.
What takes you down the fastest?----> Misunderstandings with people I love
Change of quest..... What's your main Aim in life?---->Live to my full potential by following my heart and give back to the world in some way.
What's your fear?----> Loosing people I love.
What kind of person(s) do you think the person who tagged you is/are?-----> A nice goofball.
Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?----> in love and do decently well, financially.
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?----> Check my mobile for gm sms(s) and gn sms(s) i received after i fell asleep.
If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would you pick?----> Falling in love with one person is complicated enough.
Would you give all in a relationship?----> You bet
What's eating you now?----> My pending white paper.
Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?----> In a relationship.

Ok, I am now tagging just four people:
Shilpa
Videhi
Veda
Suneetha
This is my New Year Gift girls, enjoy. Happy New Year. (Evil Laugh).

Movies of 2008

2009-01-04T23:05:00.007+05:30

I wrote this post last year but somehow never came around to publish it. Now I have to edit “this year” to “last year” and publish it. I did not watch many movies last year in the cinema hall. I watched many movies last year on DVD. I can’t really say if I liked any particular movie or for that matter if I did not like any. Here goes the list of movies that I remember.

The Note – you probably did not hear of the movie because this is a TV movie. If you are a sentimental fool like me then you will love this movie. It will touch you and move you to tears. It will leave you in a Christmassy mood. It is about a plane crash and the last message left by a father to his child. It is a simple movie and I am sure you will guess the child at the very beginning of the movie. But it will bowl you over with its underlying message of faith and hope.
A Wednesday - it is slightly OTT; ok no abbreviations, Over The Top. But I liked the movie because it is different from other Indian movies.
The English Patient – ya I know, you are probably wondering if I was living in a cave until now like my friends did. But I got the chance of watching this movie just now. I could not relate to the movie but by the end of the movie it affected me. I liked Naveen Andrews and Juliette Binoche’s story better. I loved ‘citizens sans frontiers’ message. But it is sad that people realize it after a very tragic personal loss.
Rock On – this was an average movie. It was about male bonding and so the “emotional mess” had to be at its minimum. But I enjoyed watching the movie.
A Good Year – this movie was the male version of “Under the Tuscan sun”. It is one of those time pass movies with some funny instances.
Welcome to Sajjanpur – It has a few subtle messages. But Shyam Benegal does not din it into your head, which is why I liked it.
Charlie’s war – this was a desperate attempt at being an innocent American patriotic citizen. It does have about two or three witty dialogues.
Inside man – this movie has a few holes that cannot be ignored but I enjoyed the movie. This is a smart movie with many flaws. It is not a regular thriller.
Dor - Movie about two women and their struggles. But no crying scenes or male bashing. Refreshing is'nt it?
Babel – This is a post 9/11 concept. I liked the idea of an event in one corner of the world effecting people in different parts of the globe. But I fell asleep half way through the movie.
Rab ne bana di Jodi – this is a mix of kabhi alvida na kehna and Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Lessons learnt that day was not to go for a moviethon and watch very long movies back to back. This behaviour leads to very severe headache.
Varanam Ayiram –I was really looking forward to this combo of Gautam Menon and Surya. But there is only one reason to watch this movie. No, Surya in uniform makes it a second reason. No, the third reason is well was it 6 pack or 12 pack??

There were many other movies that I watched. But I can’t remember many of them. All I remember of 'Jodha Akbar' or of 'Sex and the City', was giggling a lot. It was mostly because of the company and had very little to do with the movies. Everytime I watch movies like 'Made of Honor' or '27 dresses', I wonder why I watch these movies. But I watch them anyways. Oh by the way I liked Indian movies better last year more than Hollywood movies.

Tell me about you

2008-12-16T23:58:00.005+05:30

Back in college, my lecturer asked us one day to write a matrimonial ad. We were to write about us alone and not about the qualities we wanted in the other party. This was kind of disappointing but we started to write anyway. We had a few naughty descriptions. Some of my friends went on to write two or three versions. Each version was for a member of their family and how they would want to portray their daughter or sister. Some of my classmates included their community and religion in their description. I guess because I never associated myself with either, I wrote that I am an independent girl with a good sense of humour.

My lecturer later said that these descriptions were our image of us. That was our identity. Since then I wondered if the ‘matrimonial’ part was intentional. She could have simply asked us to describe ourselves or how we saw us. Do we have a compulsive need to pass-on what ever we believe as our own, to our children? Or may be this was her attempt to spice things up.

I am not sure if my lecturer’s theory was right too. Some of the girls who included community in their list are now married to men from other communities. It is also possible that their thought process has changed over the years though.

As for me, I grew up out of Tamil Nadu and I never had any affinity for it. I tried running away from being a “typical tamilian” or a “Catholic”, whatever that meant. But slowly I began to accept that there is a little of bit of ‘tamilness’ in me. I like tamil movies, songs and at home we eat mostly south Indian food. I do not know what is typical or untypical and above all I do not want to know. It just does not matter.

On a lighter note, there is a community on orkut called ‘Fraud Mallu’ and many of my keralite friends are part of it. It is a community for all keralites who grew up outside Kerala and who cannot speak Malyalam fluently. Guess that makes me a ‘Fraud Tamilian’.

Sustainable Energy

2008-12-14T23:59:00.001+05:30

I wish the entire world is powered by sustainable energy. Hey my hometown is powered by wind.

Cynical Me

2008-12-14T23:58:00.004+05:30

You know what brings out the best cynic in me? Politics.
If only I had a penny, no paisa, when someone said “he is a very good ” while referring to a politician and I would think “ya right”.
Every time some one talks about Obama and “change”, I think “he is not the president yet!! Wait!!”
Somehow I can’t bring myself to trust them. It is as though they are a different species all together. Today I was watching part “Independence Day” again. Bill Pullman seemed like an intelligent president. I could not help thinking “how come we have intelligent politicians only in movies??”
And then compare the world’s politicians with our politicians.
Arghhhh.At least Obama tries to reach out to his people. He has an account in every social networking site, has his profile on Linkedin and twitter too. He or at least his team is trying to connect with the younger crowd. What about our politicians? They are good at one thing though. They can segregate the country on the basis of community, religion, race and so on. They can poison the minds of citizens for their selfish benefits. All are yuck except few like Chidambaram and Arun Shourie.

Bloom time

2008-12-12T01:28:00.001+05:30

Bloom time. Bloom time. Flowers in my balcony.

I am back!!

2008-12-12T01:19:00.005+05:30

Hi all, I am back and this time I hope I will post more often. Thanks Shilpa and Videhi for the encouragement. In a funny way thanks to Nikhil too.
Hey you know what I guess I finally grew up. In the past few months I started noticing a slight change in my perceptions. Few years back I was trying to be positive. Now I guess I am really being positive and may be a little grateful too.
A few months ago, I was reading some write ups on data integration and I thought ‘This is sooo good. I get to read on a wide range of technical info’.
Recently I was swaying to some local band playing rock music and I thought ‘This is where I had to be and I don’t want to be anywhere else’. This was one of those really peaceful moments. I can understand feeling this way in a Church but rock ??!!
I met up with a close friend for lunch and thought ‘This is what I need’. I am not talking about food of course.
Here comes the best. I walk into work each day and I realize I have a few close friends here and many good friends. I am greeted by smiles right from the elevator to my desk.
Yeah I am happy happy.

Kuttralam

2008-12-11T00:01:00.001+05:30

Thats Kuttralam - I love this place.