Sunday, May 15, 2011

Father, Mother, and Brother of the Bride

**spoiler alert-this post is going to be very mushy. So if you do not like sentimental stuff stay away!**
I guess after a certain age, when a girl sees a wedding she dreams of her wedding and every married woman is reminded of her wedding day. I wonder if these reminisce continue for the rest of one’s life but one will remember it for a very long time. So, when I was watching bits of the royal wedding I was reminded of my own. Would love to share it with you.
First, my fantasy wedding:
I wanted a very low key wedding. I knew I wanted a south Indian Catholic wedding so I knew I was going to wear a sari. I did not know much about saris when I was young and therefore, the type of sari did not matter. I wanted simple jewels that would match the sari. I wanted decoration that was an elegant combination of flowers and fabric. I imagined a wedding invitation that contained an image of a bride and bridegroom, in light pink. I wanted my family and close friends to be there. I wanted a very short guest list. I wanted people who were very close and ones who would truly be happy for me. I dreamt of lot of laughter, smiles, joy, and love.
My wedding day.and the days before my wedding:
I knew like all parents my parents too looked forward to my wedding day. Every time my parents attended a wedding since I was probably 20, they would enquire about the caterers, decoration and so on. My parents saved all their life for my marriage. Every time my parents saved a small amount of money they would buy jewellery with it. My Mom for a very long time had been saving stuff for me.
My engagement was in Madras. I missed my brother and my close friends. On the day of my engagement I knew I was looking my best. My Dad who is more expressive than my Mom was happy to see me looking all dressed and pretty. My Mom did not say much but her look said it all. It was supposed to be a small private family only affair. The decorations were simple and tastefully done. The menu was good. I was surprised my parents could pull it off so well. Madras is not a very familiar city for us. We could do it with the help some members of the family. I was very happy that many of my family members could come to my engagement.
Days that led up to the big day passed quickly with shopping and lots of pampering. This was also the time when I was leaving my previous company so it was a little emotional too.
My Mom spent a lot of time to decide my look. She ensured that the designs of all my jewels were unique, took care of the clothes that were to be given as gifts, and so on. My parents prepared the guest list, invited people in person, and took special care of every detail.
The wedding was in my home town. I got married in the same Church my parents were married. My both sets of grandparents were married there too. The maternal side of my family and the maternal side of Dad’s family were all married in the same Church. So, lot of history there. It is a beautiful Church and a very powerful shrine too.
My Dad went to my hometown to arrange everything well in advance. Again, we had the support of family members who shouldered the responsibility of arranging everything. Meanwhile I was inundated with wishes from friends and family.
When we reached my hometown, I got to meet many members of my extended family. On the day before the wedding, we had a mix of customs of different regions. We had haldi and mehendi. I received a lot of gifts and was fed a variety of sweets. I was totally loving the attention. My brother as usual assumed he was elder brother and took charge of all the arrangements. He was willing to splurge on the expenses and wanted the best for me. I was not allowed to lift a finger and was completely pampered.
The day of the wedding began very early in the morning. I freshened up and was waiting for the parlour lady. Everybody got down to work and picked up a responsibility, including the little flower girl. I was the only one who probably had a good breakfast. I was ready by 7:30 AM. I later realized that none of my family members had had the time to have complete lunch too. My parents told me in a very matter of fact manner that that is the way things are in a marriage. Later in the evening my entire family made it to the reception in Nagercoil which is more or less a two hour drive from my hometown braving pouring rains. They saw the rains as a good omen saying I was blessed abundantly. Yes, with family like mine I am very blessed.
My brother was dressed in a white dhothi and shirt in the traditional south Indian fashion for the wedding. For the remaining ceremonies, he was dressed in maroon party shirt and dark trousers. He was dressed in a complete formal coat suit for the reception in Hyderabad. He looked like a million bucks in all of them. My little cousins also were dressed in traditional clothes for the wedding and salwar-kameezes for the remaining ceremonies. All of them looked very pretty. It was a beautiful family gathering. I dearly missed my cousins in Gujarat and abroad. If the wedding would have been in Christmas the entire lot would have been there. The day after the wedding was followed by a sumptuous meal for the entire groom’s family and their extended family.
The reception in Hyderabad was the best. It was right out of my fantasies. The decoration, the ambience, the positive vibes, the laughter, the joy, and above all loads of love. Most of my close friends were there except one who was stuck in TRS bundh, another who was stuck in Kerala, another who had an asthma attack and another one who broke his arm. Oh ya there was another one, no two, who were lost in their own worlds due to personal reasons. They were sorely missed.
We had a gorgeous looking cake which tasted awesome. The food was in Andhra style and hence spicy and hence I loved it. Every person who was present there was there out of sheer love for us and blessed us with all their hearts. My parents and brother warmly welcomed every guest and talked each one of them. They did it all for me. No other day can compete with the positive vibes I felt that day.
In the middle of the reception, a good friend came to us with ice cream cups so that we would not remain hungry. At the end of the reception, a few close friends stayed back and ensured that we had our dinners. They wanted us to taste every dish in the menu. I was grinning from ear to ear.
I am very grateful to my parents and my brother who ensured that my fantasies were turned into reality. Every detail of my wedding had my Mom’s touch of sophistication, my Dad’s commitment to the family, and brother’s happiness coupled with excitement. This is love, pure love. Thank you, Thank you.
This is my wedding invitation just as I wanted, the resolution is not the best but you get the idea: 

The Church where I was married:

Hyderabad wedding reception’s decorations:


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I was there .. :D You should have posted Bruno's Pic... the dhoti one.. Rajni's ishtyle... :P

  3. Hi Kalpana, each time i read a post of yours i feel it is the best, but you keep coming up with something better than the best each time. This is an awesome post, you have taken me along with you and i really felt as if i was with you in each one of those events. I am happy i made it to your wedding reception and i know i have one more pending task, i.e, to meet little Benno!! :)

  4. Thanks again. You are always welcome to see Benno :)